Christ on a cross! I'm drowning here.....

So work is umm not fun. The training I was in for the first 2 weeks has in no way prepared me for the work I am doing here. The 2 weeks I have actually been working have been less fun. With no training I am getting thrown cases to work on that I have zero clue on. This on top of more than half of my team either working from home or not working as a result of family crisis. The family crisis is something that is unavoidable, but the dudes working from home are kind of lame. I can see if you are having a delivery or its snowing, but there is no need to work from home for a week. The remaining 3 who were here dind't really offer much in the way of training or help and when they did I would show them a problem I was working on and they would slowly back away and tell me to work with the customer.


If these "seasoned veterans" can't help me with training then how the fuck am I supposed to help a customer? I'm kinda drowning here. We had a new hire on Monday. He worked with me at my last job and even he is like "what the fuck is going on here?" Makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels that way. I'm not stupid but this company has like 10-20 products that I need to know cold and I am getting cases to work on when I don't know these products. There is no help except for a guy I used to work with. He is the best technical guy in our group. Of course being the best guy in our group he is pulled in different directions all the time. Not to mention he was out last week with a family crisis.
I can't wait to get up to speed and blow these guys out of the water.


"The Last Kiss" soundtrack is rocking my ipod and keeping me sane right now.

Lets hear it for the new guy!

So the good news is that I think I can get the hang of this job. The bad news is I don't know how often I'll be able to update the blog for awhile. This is my first week actually working. The past two weeks have been hardcore training.


The job is a job. Nothing great. The people are interesting as they tend to be around me. One in particular is a little passive aggressive single mom. She says things like "Hit the apply button, like I told you in that email I sent you." Except she has sent me about 50 emails. I'm supposed to figure out what she means. I've also heard that as far as sex goes anything goes with her. Well almost anything.

There are three no no's:

No anal.

If she is in a threesome with two dudes...then the two dudes cannot be hooking up with each other. Because that is just gross.

I have no idea what the third is, but trust me I will find out.

She will have a threesome with a dude and another girl and hook up with the girl, but two guys can't hook up?

Look I'm no proponent of hooking up with dudes but doesn't that seem like a bit of a double standard?

Also how is a mom of two teenagers having enough threesomes that she can lay ground rules like that?

The weirdness follows me man. It just fucking follows me.

Work week

Real quick. Been training all week. It's been 7 years since I've had a first day at work and this is stressful as hell. I hate not knowing this stuff. On the plus side I think I'm really going to learn a lot here.


No funny stories yet. It's only been 3 days.....


Keep the dream alive.

Hello Stranger....

Better late than never I say!

Reasons for such a long absence faithful reader.

I'm lazy.

I got a new job.

The new job starts next Monday. I'm pretty pumped. I got a sizeable raise which is nice since the wife and I want to have another kid and maybe move in a year or two.

The laziness is a malady I have been stricken with forever.

There is no cure.


The boy turned 2 years old last Monday. My sister in law and her boyfriend came up that weekend to celebrate the day with us.

Funny story about that. The first night they are over the wife and I are in bed and feeling a little randy. We get to business and just as its about to get to the good parts we hear the boy crying.

It seems my sister in law was brushing her teeth and the bathroom lights woke the boy up. He is groggy and thinks my sister in law is my wife.

"Go get him!", whispers my wife. I am clothed but hard as a fucking rock. I don't think and go for him, hoping to get to him before he gets to my sister in law.

No luck. The lights on in the bathroom make it hard (no pun intended) to disguise my state.

So I um bend over into a weird kind of kneel/crouch and try to get the kid to come over to me.

The whole time my arousal is going anywhere but down. This is as bad as it gets folks. My son is still groggy and thinking that my sister in law is mommy, refuses to see me. I now have to make the even more awkward move of turning around while still crouching.

Yea that looked normal.

I make it back to my room and have the wife deal with it.


So I may have been gone awhile, but at least I provided some entertainment!

Until next time....