Tiny Tim for 2007

I may have mentioned that I broke my toe on my birthday. If I didn't, well I'm mentioning it now. The doctors who spent 8 years studying medicine told me to just tape it up.

I did that and the swelling hasn't really gone down. I know am able to grab my big toe and pul it up and actually feel it separate from the rest of my toe bone.

Whenever I play soccer with Jack the thing swells up for days.

Something had to be done.

I went to a specialist who put an aircast on me. I looked so cool in it. Let me tell you. Nothing is more awesome than walking around in an aircast.

I was supposed to wear it for 4 weeks and then get x-rays taken to see if the toe healed.
It did but not enough. Now they need to go in and suture this hanging bone so I can be all good again.

Toe surgery, you think what maybe home for a week right?

My doctor tells me I will be home for 4 weeks.

This is nuts. Its a fucking toe. It happens to be my right foot so I can't put pressure on a gas pedal.

I won't be able to walk for 10 days.

After that I go back to the aircast and then physical therapy. I'm gonna be like Tiny Tim for fucks sake.

I really feel guilty because

I'll be home for the rest of my wifes maternity leave.

I don't feel guilty about being with her, but how it looks at work.

Of course my co-workers work from home because they are getting breast implants, so maybe I am worrying for nothing.

Baby blues..

So on July 18th Cole Pavao was born. He was 8lbs 5 oz and is cute little guy. The birth went fine. I asked the doctors if I could cut the cord this time. Last time I didn't because my oldest was a big baby and they needed to get him out quick.

Births are fun. I don't know why people get freaked by it. Sure there is the blood, placenta and after birth but after that its just like a 70's horror movie. Totally fine really.

So the cord. I was joking to the doctors and the nurses that I had been practicing on spaghetti. This was a little tougher than spaghetti.

First off the docs cut the cord and then I get to cut the excess.

Second no one told me that fucker shot blood out when you cut it. It was like a fucking Tarantino movie. I had to take two tries cuz I stopped when Cole started screaming and blood squirted at me.

Thats another thing. The kid still fely me cutting the cord. For some reason I thought that the kid wouldn't feel that.

Won't think that again. After he was born I was holding him and sitting next to my wife while they stitched her up.

Cole looks like his brother. His brother looks like me, so Cole will look like me. I let me wife know that my pureblood genes have once again overcome her mixed breed.

She never thinks I'm as funny as I really am.

So we go to recovery and they decide to take Cole to the nursery for his first bath. With my first son Jack this took about an hour. With Cole it took about 3. I was not pleased.

You have to make sure the baby is warm before you bathe him. I don't think the 3 hours was waiting for the kid to warm up though. I think it was more just laziness.

I was torn. I wanted to stay with Cole, even if he didn't know that I was there I didn't want him to be alone.

I have this paranoid fear about somehow not getting the right baby so I tried to memorize every aspect of him. I had read somewhere before Jack was born that 92% of fathers recognized their newborns . I was willing myself to remember every part of Cole so I could pick him out of a lineup.

So I am waiting 3 god damn hours and my wife isn't in her room yet. This has me worried. Is she ok? Should I check? I didn't want to leave Cole but I was getting worried about my wife.

I knew that if I was her I would want her to stay with the baby, so I did. I did go to the nurses station and ask where she was. They didn't have much in the way of news but told me if she wasn't in her room then I couldn't be on the floor either. I explained to her that my son was on this floor in the nursery. They told me it didn't matter and I had to go back to the recovery ward.

I told them no problem and then went back to see my son at the nursery. After a few minutes the nurse who told me to leave walked by me and stared at me.

I had a crazy thought that she was going to call security on me and was more than willing to get into it with whoever they threw at me.

Nothing was going to pull me away from this kid.

Lucky for her and the hospital staff that I would have left in my violent wake, there was no confronatation.

Another hour went by and Cole finally got his bath. I decided that too much time had gone by and I really needed to see my wife. I walked to to elevator and as it came up, she was coming out of it.

Perfect timing.

Family started showing up but we were really excited about Jacks reaction to his new brother. When he finally showed up I met him at the door and he starts asking really loud:

"Dada did my baby brother pop out?"

I told him that yes his baby brother did indeed pop out and we could go see him as soon as he was ready.

I took him to the nursery and he saw all of the babies there. He looked at them and asked:

"Do I get to pick out the one I want?"

I told him I had already picked out the one we wanted but I was sure he would like him.

So far I was right. Jack is crazy about Cole. He's also protective towards him in a scary way.

Remember my comment about my totally rational thought that I would be willing to physically fight to stay and see Cole in the nursery?

Yea well seems like Jack also has some of that intensity as well. When it was time to bring Cole home the nurse went to cut off his ankle tag.

Jack saw the nurse go to Cole with the scissors and stared right at her. Without blinking he says"

"Don't...cut...him." I have never seen him more serious. I think he would have shit beat that nurse if Cole started crying.

Like father like son.

History Repeating...

Wednesday is b-day, as in birth-day. The birth of my second child. In the words of Luca Brassi, "A masculine child.". My second boy comes to this world at 10 AM on Wednesday and I can't wait.
Having a baby is a weird thing. It's like boxing. You know your gonna get a punch but your not sure where its going to hit or how much its going to hurt.
Kids rule.
The first few months with a newborn are great, but getting the little bugger to sleep normally is not the funnest.
The wife and I have been prepping the house. We brought up the pack and play so he could sleep in our room for the first month or so. Yesterday we went and got some more diapers and wipes for him.

I'm really looking forward to the baby. We don't have a name yet, so that will be odd. I mean he won't answer to anything for awhile anyway, but "hey you" will look weird on a birth certificate.

I'm hoping my wife gets to relax while in the hospital. I'll be off all next week to help with the baby and work from home the week after, but then I'm back in the office.

A newborn is tough, but the newborn and a three year old who has enough energy to power a small town is a little insane.
I think to curb my oldest sons energy I'm going start putting him to work. I'm going to have him work on my yard. He can push my lawnmower around. He actually likes doing that, but only if it is off. He is not a fan of the running lawnmower.
The trick with kids is to make everything an adventure.
You're too tired to play? Make an adventure out of being quiet. Want to sleep? Tell the kid you are hiding and he'll hide with you.

Parenting is easy.

Umm Happy Birthday....?

Kat walks into the office around 8 AM yesterday wearing a tight black shirt with writing on it.
I look at it and of course its in huge letters right around the new cans.

"Spank me, it's my birthday!"

Again, I am far from prudish, but what the fuck is this chick doing wearing a shirt like this? This is a shirt you see chicks wearing when they hit the bars in Boston. Dudes would buy them shots and they would just get plastered.

You don't wear it to fucking work. It just astounds me. Who fucking does that? I just say "Nice shirt." She laughs and bends over like I'm supposed to spank her.

I go "How about a happy birthday instead?"

This place is nuts. My buddy Tim shows up a little later and notices the shirt. He also notices her cancer tatoo on her wrist. She sees Tim looking at it and assures him that its not 69.

Thanks for clearing that up Kat.

My boss is on vacation. He has been since last week and will be back Monday. There are three people in my group and one of them is on vacation. The other person in my group decided to work from home all of this week. She didn't ask my boss because he is on vacation, so she just decided to do it.

Convenient huh?

My co-workers can blow me.

They are always bitching about how no one is around, but as soon as my boss is gone it's like school is fucking out. When my boss is here they go behind each others back and complain about no one working as hard as they are.

I'm live and let live, I don't bitch to my boss about any of them. I don't care what they fucking do, but at the same time it blows my mind that the people who do the most bitching are the ones taking the most advantage.

Know why this chick is staying home all week? Her boyfriends 16 yr old daughter is spending the week with them.

This girl used to live with them, then she caught a case of the teen pregnancy and this chick told her boyfriend that his daughter could not have a baby at their house.

This chick decided to move to North Carolina to be with her mom and have the baby. When the kid was born my co-worker was acting like a proud grandma showing pictures.

You never would know she told the girl to either get rid of the baby or put it up for adoption.
Now she is "working from home" all week to spend time with said baby.

Fucking hypocrite.