From myspace with love....

I posted this orignally on myspce so if it sounds weird it's because I was writing to a different audience.





My job is very odd. I have girls talking about the breast implants they are getting. These same girls have 3 kids and are in their mid 20's and party like fucking rockstars every Thursday night.
That is another story for another time.

This is the story of the dude who really really wishes he was a Knight.
A knight like fucking Lancelot. This guy I work with is kind of a tool (this will be a trend in future posts) and tends to be rather condescending in all interactions I have had with him.
I consider myself to be very lucky to have the job I have because I really feel like I am faking it. I feel like I don't know enough about my field to warrant what I make, so I tend to think that colleagues know more than I do.
This ain't true kids. Most people know just enough to get by.
That was a bit off topic, but anyway this guy seems like he knows a lot. He does, but he doesn't know what I know and I don't know what he knows. The difference between us is that I don't treat people like morons when they don't know what I do.

This guy does. He is just so fucking smug. Since I'm new here I don't really have a lay of the land and I don't know who this guy is friends with. He walks around and when he talks he stretches out his words in such a way that he is trying to sound smarter than you. He ends every sentence with "Right?"

I kinda hate him.

Anyway I was working in the lab on something with my friend Tim and he brings up that smug bastard and how he isn't a fan of him. I relate my times with him as well. Once it's established that we aren't fans, Tim drops the coup de grace:
The dude makes his own armor and role plays as a knight. He is probably 36 or 37. Hey I read comics. I'm not here to really judge, but the kicker is that Tim knew this because:
1) The guy has his fake sword hanging in his cube.
2) He had all of his buddies meet him in the work parking lot at lunch time to sword fight.

Tim was heading to lunch last spring and he heard some people yelling. He looked and in the middle of the parking lot this guy and all of his buddies were beating the shit out of themselves with wooden swords.
Cry for attention table for one please.
So the smugness is explained. He was one of those dudes who if he didn't have this to hold onto, he would probably be applying lipstick and looking for a bell tower with a high powered rifle. I never noticed the fake sword, but since I have to be in the office at 5 am I decided to check his cube out.

Not only is there a wooden sword there, but he also has a picture of about 500 dudes dressed in made up armor and fighting. It looks like fucking Braveheart. He also has two dumbells in there too.

I find that hilarious. I am picturing him kissing the picture while doing curls.
Now I don't think I will worry about his smugness anymore. If he gets smart with me I'll just pop off with:

"King Arthur was a fag....that's right I said it."