Mid-terms...

Been a bad boy. I've been neglecting all 5 of my readers. That stops for today at least.

I had a mid term that I put off until the very last minute. I did end up with an A- though. I really doubt my professor read it. It was trash.

Anyway...

While I was writing this 10 page paper....

It was a Sunday. My wife was watching the boy so I could get some work done. We are trying to get the boy out of diapers. It would be GREAT if he was out of diapers.

My wife tries something new. She takes his diaper off.

I am typing away and my 2 year old son is running into the office bare assed. I tell my wife to put some pants on the kid. She puts on his Spider-Man boxers (yes I was jealous that I didn't have any) but no diaper.

She tells me she did this before. She had him with no diaper on and kept an eye on him. She then would ask him if he had to use the bathroom. When he did she took him to the potty.


This is a stupid idea. Why not keep the kid in the diaper and ask if he has to go to the bathroom? If he says yes then you take him to the potty.

So around 4 she leaves to meet a friend for dinner. I'm still working on the paper. I go into the living room to check on him a few minutes later and there is piss everywhere.

He pissed all over his Spider-Man chair. He pissed all over himself. He pissed on my floor.

I am, for lack of a better word, pissed. I have only 3 more hours to turn in this paper and I have a kid covered in urine. I have to now:

1. Wash the floors
2. Throw out his chair
3. Wash the boy.

This takes time I do not have. It all ends well but I didn't need that at all.


Last week the wife and I went to Providence to see Death Cab for Cutie. If you get a chance to see this band then go for it. They were awesome. Since the show was in Providence we got up early and drove to my folks house.

My whole family lives close to Providence. My aunt, hearing that I was coming down, asked for help with her computer.

My cousin is about 17 and he LOVES porn. The last time I looked at my aunts PC it took almost 4 hours to clean that thing out and get it running again. They have since bought a laptop. It's about 2 months old and it is running like shit because of the porn and viruses on it.

As I am cleaning out this machine my aunt decides to entertain me with stories about my dirty dirty cousin.

She had both cousins clean out their rooms. The older one is 20 and a good guy. He does it no problem. The 17 year old is a good guy too, but just not right in the head. He comes out of his room with a big smile on his face. He is holding his nightstand drawer.

He is smiling because he is a 17 year old who is dumping out his drawer full of cum stained tissues. He is getting a kick out of this pseudo walk of shame.

The kid ain't right.

With that story over she moves onto another fine moment in my families history. My cousin has lost his license for awhile so he needs my aunt for rides. One night he has a girl at the house and my aunt comes in to bring her home.

After they drop her off my cousin tells my aunt to hurry home.

She asks him why.

He tells her he has blue balls and needs to take care of it.

My aunt has never heard of this term called blue balls and is like "Oh are you ok?"

My cousin is like yea mom just get me home and I will take care of it.

So they go home and my other cousin and my uncle are there. My blue balled cousin makes a run to the bathroom. My uncle asks whats wrong.

My aunt is like "He has blue balls."

My cousin and my uncle just laugh their asses off.

20 minutes later my cousin comes out of the bathroom looking much better.

This was told to me by his mother.

God I love my family.