I had this friend in college. Her name was Shelley. She was awesome. We were one year and one day apart in age. She was a sophomore my freshmen year and she showed me around. We stayed friends after college. There was never anything between us...we were just good friends. Once college ended and we started getting careers it was harder to see each other. Whenever I had vacation or time off I would go to Boston and meet her for lunch at her job. She came to my wedding over four years ago.
That was the last time I saw her.
I think she is great, but it just got to the point where I hated being the one putting effort into the friendship. Driving to Boston on my day off to have lunch is a pain in the ass especially if the favor isn't returned.
Some of my emails wouldn't be returned.
Like 6 months ago I was part of a big group email saying she was engaged. I was happy for her even though I wasn't a fan of her fiance. He was an old roommate, but not the one I took the lightbulbs from. We just never clicked. Anywho...I get the save the date and she asks me if I am pumped about the wedding. I say yea of course. What was I supposed to say? No? I'm not going? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I haven't seen her in over 4 years. So when the invite comes in I send it back saying I'm not coming.
The wife wanted to go. She wanted to see old college friends. My reply was "If you miss them how come you never keep in touch with them?" She said it wasn't like that. She said that it's nice to pump into old friends and catch up. I said well this isn't bumping into them.
So we are not going.
While I was on vacation I got this email from Shelley:
So, I have been avoiding emailing you because I am wondering whats up....
After I sent the "Save the Date" card to you for our wedding you seemed all jazzed up about it, and now you guys aren't coming?
I am assuming you have something else you have to go to but I thought I might have gotten some sort of explanation on the RSVP card....
Oh well.
Hope all is well
S
I don't know what to say. I feel bad but not so bad that I would change my mind. Besides the wedding is this Saturday and the Patriots playoff game is that night.
The Pats never blow me off.
3 comments:
I don't know if I am with you on this one. I can perfectly see yor side, and I understand.
However, true friendship is one that even after many years apart, once you see each other, you can pick up where you left.
I know it is not always giving and sometimes she should have put the effort to see you too. But if she was a friend, I guess you should have told her what was up, not just avoid her on her special day.
In a sense, I guess she just always counted you would be there.
I think if she was a friend you value(d), you should come clean.
Pats will play ever year. You can see the next game. (ok, if it was superbowl, I agree with you, but it is not).
Roni
I see both of your points. But I haven't seen this person in over 4 years. That's whats really stopping me from going to the wedding.
I respect your opinion, so I won't push mine to you. But I just think that friendship does not come with expiration dates.
Some people take it for granted, and I think this is the case here.
But as KitKat said, this (wedding) is a far more significant date than going out for lunch with her...
Roni
Post a Comment