Dear Old People,
Congratulations on working out at your age! Nothing like keeping the old ticker pumping and looking good....or what passes for good for someone approaching the century mark.
Now that aside we need to talk. Specifically we need to talk about how you dress. I went to get my coffee today and there was one of your geriatric army running in place. There is no problem with that. The problem was the attire. This man was wearing spandex. He was pushing 66 wearing spandex. Oh and he was sweaty. Not just sweaty on his face. He was sweating from his ass THROUGH THE SPANDEX!
That is fucking disgusting.
Old people....you need to realize you are old. When you sweat through spandex on your ass it looks like you pissed yourself. We don't need to see that. No one does. Even old people don't want to see that.
So please as a favor to us and yourselves....avoid spandex and sweat.
It's an ugly combination.
Regards,
-The Rest of the World
2 comments:
Old people probably sweat more 'cause they're all wrinkly... and they have more skin surface area, squished together under the spandex... Ew, now I'm thinking of Squishy-old-person's-wrinkly-sweaty-ass! Is there a nail gun big enough to take that pain away?
LOL
I bet that coffee tasted real good.
I would simply trow it away in the garbage....
...must...make....effort...
...no...mental...picture....aaaagh
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