Party time....

It took some well placed hints to the wife, but she is throwing me a birthday party. We are having a few friends over for a cookout.

Of course that means rain tomorrow and thunderstorms.

I can't win.

Nonetheless we are sticking with the cookout theme. I am determined to have a good time. It will be a few friends I haven't seen since the holidays. I intend to be drunk.

They boy will be with my parents, so he is yet again spared from drunk Da Da.

Small favors I guess.

Two weeks from today and I will be in Aruba. I keep going back and forth about just having a good time even with the people I don't like.

Some days I think I can do it, but then a few hours later it feels like I am holding a flexed muscle for too long, and I just can't do it anymore.

I have decided that this tells me to try, but after an hour with them I will probably lose it.

This will be an interesting trip.

Comics day...

I know I have brought this up numerous times, but for some reason these people flock to me. I never take lunch. Actually the only day of the week I take a lunch break is Wednesday. That's new comic book day. I happen to work next to a Newbury Comics, so I check out the comics there. It's a stupid hobby I know. I am almost 30 and I read comics. I am in the process of getting rid of junk comics I bought in my teens....space is an issue now, but I don't care. I love reading comics.

I just don't like talking about them. I HATE HATE HATE talking about them. I hate the stereotype of the comic book reader. I hate it because it is 99% correct. It is usually an unshaven virgin unbathed man who reads comics.

Newbury Comics hired such a man.

I saw the sign a few weeks ago wanting a guy with comic book knowledge. Part of me thought about applying just for the extra cash, but I really have no time with the kid the wife and the school thing. Plus it's retail.

So I quickly forgot about it.

Last week I go to see what new comics are in. This is Jay time. Jay time is almost extinct. Jay time used to be abundant. Jay time would consist of Saturdays all alone while the wife worked until 2 PM. Jay time would be Jay getting up around 10 am and getting a comics and then getting a large Dunkin' Donuts coffee and going home and reading comics.

Jay time was glorious.

Jay time is almost gone now. Saturdays Jay is up at 6 am because that is when the boy is up. Saturdays are now filled with Thomas the Tank Engine and the mall playground, followed by naptime and then out to the park with the boy and the dog.

I don't regret the loss of that. I love my son and I love spending time with him. I love spending time with my wife as well. I love my family.

I do miss Jay time though. I miss it because it would give me the chance to recharge. Sorry about this long diatribe, but there is a point here.

So Jay time has now become 12 until 12:30 PM on Wednesday afternoons.

Last week I was robbed of that time.

The comics guy they hired decided to talk me up. He spoke in a loud voice and recommended comics to me. Unfortunately he didn't know much and was making it up as he went along. That was annoying. At first I started correcting him, but then stopped realizing that it was making the conversation longer.

There is a point of salemanship when you ask the customer if they need help with anything. If customer says "No thank you.", then you leave them alone and say "Well let me know if you need anything." Leave it at that.

This dude wouldn't stop talking comics to me. My one word monosyllabic answers were not getting through to him. I was being polite (something I am working on) but at the same time I tried to put off the vibe that I knew what I wanted and didn't need to be sold.

After about 10 minutes he offers his hand and tells me he is their comic book guy. I shake his hand and say thanks.

Then he starts to hover. I am looking at books and he is right behind me staring. I just fucking left at that point.

It's nice that he is enthusiastic. That is great, but really back off. It just set me off. I really just wanted to be left alone, and look and see what new books came in. Instead I had to play nice with some guy who just couldn't take a hint.

Kids say the darndest things....

"Oh shit!"

Ahh the boy has learned a new word. Unfortunately it's "Oh shit" and even worse, I inadvertantly taught it to him.

I had dropped some food and muttered said phrase. The boy followed suit. It took him months to say Da Da, but he says "oh shit" in like 2 seconds. Ahh human mind.

Now I've got the wife on my case about my language. I understand the need to watch what I say in front of the boy, but to me swears are just words. Obviously I don't want my year and a half old son swearing, but in the grand scheme of things it could be worse.

As I dropped him off with his godmother this morning he once again swore. I had to become "stern dad" and set the boy straight. I told him that that is a bad word and he can't say it.

The bottom lip came out and I think he got it.

Other stuff going on....


My wife ahh my wife. Last week I was wearing a black t-shirt. I saw my wife for like 30 minutes before I left for work. She gives me a kiss and says goodbye. I get to work and this dude comes up and says:

"Hey dude you have white deodorant stains all over the side of your shirt."

Thanks honey. Thanks.

I had to get a new shirt on my lunch break. Karma I guess.

Anyhow. Work continues to kick my ass. School is easy, and the trip that I am dreading gets ever closer.

Until next time...

Work is kicking my ass....

Hence the no new posts. I am working on a huge project right now and will be busy for the next few days. I hope to get this under control soon.

Woke up this morning and got yourself a gun....

Fucking Sopranos coming back.

Very excited. I love all genres, but two if done right stick out.....Mob and Western. Two shining examples of these are The Sopranos and Deadwood.

Brilliant shows, just brilliant. Bad guys who you root for teach the audience a lesson in confusion and moral ambiguity. Showing bad guy doesn't necessarily mean evil. Fuck I love those shows.


Sopranos has definitely been off the past few seasons, but I have high hopes.

The posting has been erratic, because much like my fellow blogger Kitkat, few people have been pissing me off.

The only real annoyance lately has been the boy. He is hitting that terrible two stage and him and I are dancing a dance I see going well into his teens.

He knows mommy loves him and hates when he cries, so when daddy disciplines him he runs to mommy. Then the little shit stares at me with the "That's right motherfucker I got you." stare.

I would be lying if part of me wasn't proud that he at one and a half was smart enough to realize how to try to play my wife and I against each other. On the other hand I am the boys father, and I cannot tolerate that behavior.

So the wife and I had a sit down. (mob reference) She was brought up much differently than I was. Her parents were very calm people, rarely yelled....rarely were spanked and it shows. I on the other hand would be pulled by my ears if I misbehaved and had the shit kicked out of my dad and his baseball mittlike hands.

I'm not for smacking a little boy around, but a slap on the wrist is a good way to let him know I mean business. I am all for the wifes way of talking to the boy, but when talk fails I stick with what works. I don't like the idea of a time out, because eventually the kid will say "oh I just have to wait 5 minutes and then I can go and misbehave again." My wife has a brother who is 10 or 11 and I don't like what I see as a result of that method.

I think kids are not stupid, but they aren't focused. They need some discipline or else they are gonna run wild. I hate seeing kids who don't know how to play, or don't listen to their parents.

These small steps are my way of making sure that the boy never grows up to be like that.

My run in with an Arab...

I admit I lost it. I just went nuts. Let me start from the beginning....


The big 3-0 is fast approaching and in trying to be a responsible husband and father I though it time to make physicals an annual thing. I set up an appointment for Friday at 3:45. I pull up and park my car at the doctors office. In front of my car is another row of parked cars, and about three cars over in that row a car is backing out.

So I wait in my car for this guy to back out.

He is backing up.

Still backing up.

His rear end is turned and getting closer to my car.

Surely he sees the car he is about to hit.

He hits my car.

He drives away.


Seeing him drive away set off a switch in my head. I jump out of my car and chase his car through the parking lot. Screaming like a madman.

I catch up to his car just before he leaves the parking lot. At this point I had no idea who was driving, just that I was pissed off. I get to the car and its a little Arab dude with sunglasses that have diamond on them. Since he is driving a busted up Corrolla I assume the diamonds are fake. The exchange when I catch up to him and make him roll down his window:

Me: "What the fuck is your problem man?"

Small Arab Man (AKA S.A.M.): "What do you mean?"

Me: "You just hit my fucking car asshole! You hit it and then drive away?"

S.A.M.: "What car? What car did I hit?"

As an aside this set me off even more. My car was in plain view as the only car he could have hit and to top it off my car did move when he struck it so I know he was lying.

Me: "What car? The red car...the only fucking car you could have possibly hit. My fucking car asshole! That's the fucking car you hit."

S.A.M.: "Oh I didn't see it. I didn't know I hit your car."

Me: "Fuck you, you knew. My car fucking moved."

S.A.M.: "Oh I'm sorry."

Me: "Watch where you are fucking going dick."

In truth there was no damage to my car. He was backing up so slowly there couldn't have been. It was seeing him try to take off that set me off. I lost it. The fact that someone would be so cowardly as to hit someone's car. Even a light tap. The balls to think you can just leave. I lost it. I was shaking after that. I've rarely gone off on someone like that. I wasn't going to hit him, but him denying that he didn't know he hit me made me so fucking mad.

So when I went for my physical I had to rather sheepishly let the nurse and my doctor know:

"Hey doc if for some reason my blood pressure is up or my heart rate is accelerated, well I just tore some guy a new asshole in your parking lot and I am little fired up as a result of it."

That was awkward.

Why can't single guys just get a hooker?

I don't get why prostitution is illegal.

If this was a regular business I think things would be great. There would be a lot less virgins out there. I know dudes in their 30's who still haven't gotten laid.

That's no good. I know chicks in their 30's who haven't gotten laid. That's a real damn shame.

I just don't get it. It works in Nevada.

You get a business set up and you have customers show up. You get some big dudes to provide security and you should be fine.

I know a lot of people male and female that can't be bothered with a relationship. They work a lot or just flat out can't stand the drama that comes along with dating someone.

But they would still like to get laid from time to time.

Legalizing prostitution would fix all of this. I don't even get what the moral problems are for this. If you are morally against prostitution then no one says you have to have sex with one. What does it matter if some single person has had a shitty week and just wants to get some ass and then go home and order a pizza?

The reason for this post is because a friend of mine paid for a blowjob at a strip club a few months back at a bachelor party.

It led me to think if I was single and it was legal, I would definitely treat myself to that.

It's so easy. You would prob pay whatever it cost for the requisite 3 dates to get into the girls pants anyway, so whats the harm?

I don't know. Just something off the top of my head.