I spent last week in England for work. A small village called Bracknell. England is a cool place, but there were some noticeable differences. For example I would leave the office around 5:30 and all the shops were closed. The only place open was the local pub, The Manor.
The Manor is great. It's like the Winchester in Shaun of the Dead. There were four older men at the bar. This was obviously "their pub". They had been coming here for years and were friends for even longer.
One of them had to leave. As he was saying his goodbyes one of his friends grabs his own crotch and says "Give my love to the wife for me wouldja?".
This was my kind of place. It was the british version of my all time favorite bar from college, Julios.
It was a fucking dive and it made me feel at home when I was so very far from it.
The odd thing about the pub was there was no concept of a tab. I wanted dinner and drinks. I had to pay up front. Now if I wanted more to drink I would have to pay again.
I had no cash on me and only my corporate card. So after dinner I order another pint and hand out my credit card.
The pint is about two pounds. I offer up my card and they tell me it is a five pound minimum. My meal came with a free drink and I had already had a pint to go with that as well.
Instead of not getting the pint I said "Oh ok five pound minimum? I'll take three pints then."
Ahh American excess.
After my 5 drinks I made my way to the hotel. My hotel was in this plaza and the only way (or so I thought) in was to take an escalator from the plaza to the hotel.
It was about 8pm. The doors to the escalator were locked and I was somewhat drunk and having to piss.
An emergency if there ever was one. The lights are out. The town is deserted and I have no idea where to go to make it to my hotel. I wander around and find a Royal British club and ask the kind ladies if they can tell me how to get back to my hotel.
They group up like I am about to mug them (this becomes a trend throughout my trip) and provide directions. I thank them and make off like the wind. I have to go through a car park and up a few flights of stairs before I make it to the hotel, but make it I do.
I tell the concierge that he really screwed me over with the whole locking up of the escalators and he should get on that. He nods and I go to my room for a piss and sleep.
Part two soon.
