Toe the line....

I type this stoned out of my mind on Oxycodone. The surgery went well or so my doctor says. I always try to stay awake when they put me under, but everytime the surgery is completed before I even know it has started. This time was no different.

I'm fairly certain that I tried to convince the nurses that the anethesia had worn off when I got out of surgery by telling them I worked in telecom and I was a smart guy.
In hindsight I'm pretty sure that the effect was opposite what I was going for. The toe feels fine except for the pain that my good friend the prescription drugs help numb. Before I left they put my on crutches. I'm not the most coordinated person to begin with so this will be an interesting 10 days with no pressure on the foot. It's a weird thing because you take walking for granted. Now I can't even grab a can of seltzer because I need both hands for these crutches.
I can't walk and hold Cole. I can't play soccer with Jack. It kinda blows. I've caught up on everything on my DVR and even finished the excellent Brotherhood on DVD.
The plus side was having Friday and Monday off from work. It allowed me to help Faith out with Cole. The drugs make me tired but sleep doesn't come easy, so 2 am feedings are not the nightmare they normally would be.
My neck is killing me though. I suck at the crutches and have been sleeping on the couch because I can't consistently get upstairs to my bed. This does help with the baby because it's just him and I for the most part at night. I pass him off around 2 or 3 so I can get some sleep before work at 5.
Of course my first day back at work is not fun. I'm working from home for the next month or so. The weekend with the foot was fine. I was able to put some weight on it. It still hurts pretty much all the time but it was manageable because it was always elevated.
Now I am working at my dining room table and can't keep my foot up. I must have bumped this thing like 100 times in my first hour back at work. It is THROBBING.
Funny thing about the drugs. They make me way more affectionate. I'm not made of stone, I always kiss my wife and kids and tell them I love them, but I'm such a chick flick when I'm on drugs.
Part of it is being fairly helpless. I have to rely on my wife for everything right now. She is a champ about it, but I want to help as much as I can hence me taking Cole for most of the night. You really appreciate the people in your life when you don't have a leg to stand on.

Side note:

Once my vacation was over I went back to work and there was a big company meeting. We all had to go to this hotel conference room. I got there and sat next to a co-worker. I started making small talk and they ignored me.
No worries. People have stuff going on and it was just small talk.

After the meeting we went back to the office and my colleagues were talking about all going to lunch. Next thing I know they are all gone.

No one asked me. Everyone was ignoring me. No one asked about the baby. No one asked how my wife was doing.
It was awesome. Finally people got the hint. Work Jay and personal life Jay no longer had to meet.

Then I woke up. It seriously was a dream where my co-workers minded their own business.
When I really got back to work I got hit with the questions about the baby.
They asked if I had pictures. I told them I didn't They asked me before I left if I was going to email them pictures of Cole when he was born.

I told them I would not.

This is not to be a dick. First off these are co-workers who I do not know socially. Secondly I have this unnatural fear of pictures of my kids on the internet. I hate it. The world is full of perverts. I wouldn't email co-workers pictures of my kids because in my mind they can then forward those pictures to the world.
It's an insane thought, but I'm on prescription drugs right now. They then said how come you won't have pictures of the kids at your desk. I've said this before.
"I know what my kids look like. If I were to have their pictures there it would be for you to come and see and strike up a conversation."

People don't like that response. Oh well. It is also part of my unnatural fear of layoff. I don't want anything at my desk that I can't get rid of with one trip because there is no way I am taking two trips after being shit canned.

Tiny Tim for 2007

I may have mentioned that I broke my toe on my birthday. If I didn't, well I'm mentioning it now. The doctors who spent 8 years studying medicine told me to just tape it up.

I did that and the swelling hasn't really gone down. I know am able to grab my big toe and pul it up and actually feel it separate from the rest of my toe bone.

Whenever I play soccer with Jack the thing swells up for days.

Something had to be done.

I went to a specialist who put an aircast on me. I looked so cool in it. Let me tell you. Nothing is more awesome than walking around in an aircast.

I was supposed to wear it for 4 weeks and then get x-rays taken to see if the toe healed.
It did but not enough. Now they need to go in and suture this hanging bone so I can be all good again.

Toe surgery, you think what maybe home for a week right?

My doctor tells me I will be home for 4 weeks.

This is nuts. Its a fucking toe. It happens to be my right foot so I can't put pressure on a gas pedal.

I won't be able to walk for 10 days.

After that I go back to the aircast and then physical therapy. I'm gonna be like Tiny Tim for fucks sake.

I really feel guilty because

I'll be home for the rest of my wifes maternity leave.

I don't feel guilty about being with her, but how it looks at work.

Of course my co-workers work from home because they are getting breast implants, so maybe I am worrying for nothing.

Baby blues..

So on July 18th Cole Pavao was born. He was 8lbs 5 oz and is cute little guy. The birth went fine. I asked the doctors if I could cut the cord this time. Last time I didn't because my oldest was a big baby and they needed to get him out quick.

Births are fun. I don't know why people get freaked by it. Sure there is the blood, placenta and after birth but after that its just like a 70's horror movie. Totally fine really.

So the cord. I was joking to the doctors and the nurses that I had been practicing on spaghetti. This was a little tougher than spaghetti.

First off the docs cut the cord and then I get to cut the excess.

Second no one told me that fucker shot blood out when you cut it. It was like a fucking Tarantino movie. I had to take two tries cuz I stopped when Cole started screaming and blood squirted at me.

Thats another thing. The kid still fely me cutting the cord. For some reason I thought that the kid wouldn't feel that.

Won't think that again. After he was born I was holding him and sitting next to my wife while they stitched her up.

Cole looks like his brother. His brother looks like me, so Cole will look like me. I let me wife know that my pureblood genes have once again overcome her mixed breed.

She never thinks I'm as funny as I really am.

So we go to recovery and they decide to take Cole to the nursery for his first bath. With my first son Jack this took about an hour. With Cole it took about 3. I was not pleased.

You have to make sure the baby is warm before you bathe him. I don't think the 3 hours was waiting for the kid to warm up though. I think it was more just laziness.

I was torn. I wanted to stay with Cole, even if he didn't know that I was there I didn't want him to be alone.

I have this paranoid fear about somehow not getting the right baby so I tried to memorize every aspect of him. I had read somewhere before Jack was born that 92% of fathers recognized their newborns . I was willing myself to remember every part of Cole so I could pick him out of a lineup.

So I am waiting 3 god damn hours and my wife isn't in her room yet. This has me worried. Is she ok? Should I check? I didn't want to leave Cole but I was getting worried about my wife.

I knew that if I was her I would want her to stay with the baby, so I did. I did go to the nurses station and ask where she was. They didn't have much in the way of news but told me if she wasn't in her room then I couldn't be on the floor either. I explained to her that my son was on this floor in the nursery. They told me it didn't matter and I had to go back to the recovery ward.

I told them no problem and then went back to see my son at the nursery. After a few minutes the nurse who told me to leave walked by me and stared at me.

I had a crazy thought that she was going to call security on me and was more than willing to get into it with whoever they threw at me.

Nothing was going to pull me away from this kid.

Lucky for her and the hospital staff that I would have left in my violent wake, there was no confronatation.

Another hour went by and Cole finally got his bath. I decided that too much time had gone by and I really needed to see my wife. I walked to to elevator and as it came up, she was coming out of it.

Perfect timing.

Family started showing up but we were really excited about Jacks reaction to his new brother. When he finally showed up I met him at the door and he starts asking really loud:

"Dada did my baby brother pop out?"

I told him that yes his baby brother did indeed pop out and we could go see him as soon as he was ready.

I took him to the nursery and he saw all of the babies there. He looked at them and asked:

"Do I get to pick out the one I want?"

I told him I had already picked out the one we wanted but I was sure he would like him.

So far I was right. Jack is crazy about Cole. He's also protective towards him in a scary way.

Remember my comment about my totally rational thought that I would be willing to physically fight to stay and see Cole in the nursery?

Yea well seems like Jack also has some of that intensity as well. When it was time to bring Cole home the nurse went to cut off his ankle tag.

Jack saw the nurse go to Cole with the scissors and stared right at her. Without blinking he says"

"Don't...cut...him." I have never seen him more serious. I think he would have shit beat that nurse if Cole started crying.

Like father like son.