I can't....I have a headache

It's been a busy few weeks. I am starting to catch up on school work, but am still a bit behind. A big part of that is work. This guy I work with is based in England.

I work with european customers and this guy was hired to help out.

He sucks so bad.

He is a horrible worker.

He tries to be nice and tell jokes to get you on his good side to make up for his complete lack of knowledge and work ethic.

When you first start here you get a bit of a pass because the technology is new and our products are not the easiest to use. Eventually more responsibility is sent your way until you are able to do your job by yourself. I was supposed to be his point of escalation in case he hit a roadblock.

I was not being utilized that way.

He was always asking for help. That in and of itself is fine, but he would have me do all of the work and not take notes when I did it. What was happening was the same problems were appearing but he wasn't learning from it.

I started getting frustrated. I started giving him a checklist of things I wanted done before I would even look at the issue. He did not like that at all.

He would tell me he was nervous about helping out customers when he didn't know what he was doing.

I told him I never knew what I was doing, but the beauty is that neither does the customer.

That didn't work for him.

He went to my boss and told him that when I helped him with his problems I moved too fast and he didn't know what I was doing. He did this in spite of me asking him each step of the way if he understood what was going on. His reply was always yes. He said he was taking notes the whole time too.

So my boss tells me from now on I am to instruct him and monitor him when he has an issue.

I say fine.

Then he calls in for two weeks with a headache.

He calls in saying he has a stress headache and his doctor said he will be unable to work for two weeks.

Can you believe that shit? That is balls. If I wasn't so pissed at what a pussy move that was I'd almost be impressed.

So while he is gone I am working all of his issues and mine.

I have the boys during the week and homework is piling on.

In short this happened at the worst possible time.

He comes back last Friday. I am working an issue and tell him to work a different one.

He logs on and calls me saying he is in the customer system but has no idea what to do and can I help him.

Unfuckingreal.

God damn lazy asshole.

So I log in and tell him that I will tell him what to do so he can learn.

He says no. He says that if he works the issue he will get another stress headache. He wants me to do it and he will take notes.
Now this prick told my boss that when we did just that, I was moving too fast for him. He said that he couldn't pick up what I was doing.

I fucking hate people. I call my boss and am like "Listen this dude you hired has sand in his vagina and needs to get some balls ASAP because he is killing me."

Although when he heard me it sounded more like "This guy says he's going to get a headache if he works and wants me to do it for him. What the fuck is wrong with this guy and can you see that this is unacceptable?"

My boss did understand my plight but wanted the customer taken care of. He talked to my co-worker yesterday. The dude actually resigned and my boss just cut him loose instead of having him work his final two weeks.

I'm actually surprised he quit. I figured he was looking for another job when he had headaches, but I wasn't sure. Guys like that tend to milk jobs all the time.

Thank christ he is gone but my job just got a lot harder.